Rapid Reaction: Indiana holds off Miami, wins national championship

The Hoosiers have gone 16-0 and stormed the college football castle.

Build the statue of Curt Cignetti and throw in one of Fernando Mendoza on 4th and 5, because the Indiana Hoosiers are your college football national champions.

(1) Indiana Hoosiers 27, (10) Miami Hurricanes 21

Indiana scored on a fullback dive, blocked a punt for a touchdown, and pulled a massive-balls quarterback draw out of their asses on 4th and 5 from the 13 to hold off a game Miami Hurricanes team and win the College Football Playoff National Championship. The Hoosiers’ offense largely sputtered against the Canes’ defense, mustering just 2.9 yards per carry and a pedestrian 186 yards passing, but none of that, of course, matters—IU worked the Mendoza-to-Charlie Becker back-shoulder on big downs, Omar Cooper Jr. brought a sure pair of hands, and Mikail Kamara blocked the punt that will be the stuff of legends in Bloomington. Add to that Jamari Sharpe’s all-but-walk-off interception of Carson Beck, and just like that, the Hoosiers are your champs.

It’s as storybook as it gets in the modern era—the first 16-0 team since the presidency of Grover Cleveland or some shit, brought to you by one of the losingest programs in college football history, helmed by a curmudgeon who, as I am typing this, is just kind of drifting around behind players who are taking pictures with the trophy, looking unsure of how the hell he has, in his own words, gone from “waxing the tables at IUP the week of Thanksgiving” to all this.

Cignetti, Mendoza, and the Hoosiers’ cast of characters, armed with Mark Cuban’s billions and a healthy dose of “fuck you,” have shattered the college football norms and set themselves atop its pinnacle. Congratulations to them and to Indiana’s long-suffering fanbase (he said, through gritted teeth).

Thumpasaurus: Now some NFL team please throw 50 million a year at this asshole and $50 million at his staff and get him out of my goddamn conference. The existence of one Ohio State is plenty for me, thanks.

MNW: Excellent fodder for the rapid reaction I’m throwing up, Thump, thanks.

Thump: I’m also throwing up.

Aren’t we all? A third straight big ten national title.

None involved my team. How putrid.

Most importantly, BuffKomodo: ITS THE UPSIDE DOWN

AHHHHHHHHH

I CANT STOP LAUGHING

IM ALMOST CRYING

LETS GO

INDIANA SITS ATOP THE FOOTBALL WORLD. NATIONAL CHAMPIONS. NOBODY THOUGHT THIS WAS POSSIBLE. IT IS.

YEEEEEEESSSSSS

LETS GO

GLORY TO GOD

FERNANDO

OH MY GOD

CHARLIE b

INDIANA!!!!!!!!!!!!