Bienvenue to the folderol bowls. For years I considered the “achievement” of bowl eligibility absurd. A bar to leap of the lowest order. Testament to mediocrity. Then I discovered my man Joey the Vig’s (RIP) Bowl Pool. To realize how having a little skin in the outcome of a December Tuesday afternoon’s Dandy Dave’s Donut […]
Bienvenue to the folderol bowls.
For years I considered the “achievement” of bowl eligibility absurd. A bar to leap of the lowest order. Testament to mediocrity.
Then I discovered my man Joey the Vig’s (RIP) Bowl Pool. To realize how having a little skin in the outcome of a December Tuesday afternoon’s Dandy Dave’s Donut Bowl was a joyeux noel delight. Pass the chocolate creme filled with sprinkles.
I specifically recall being at a latke fest at the Professor’s house, and was the only one watching some minor bowl. Forget the name. Forget who won. Do remember that Syracuse was one of the teams, and that if they either made or missed a last second FG, I would vault into the pool’s lead.
It happened. I started screaming joyously as I sauntered toward the platter of fried potato pancakes and apple sauce. Only the Professor understood, as his standing plummeted with the result.
Others in attendance looked at me with befuddled confusion.
Others were also a smidge confused, during the lighting of the candles, when I reminded, “Dinah Shore-A lights the menorah.”
So yeah I’m grateful for all these affairs, matching teams about which I have no idea.
FYI, I don’t research a thing.
Look at the names. Look at their records. Try to recall if I have any info whatsoever stored, pause for a nanosecond and circle the “winner.”
Two years in a row, I captured the Vig’s pool, by taking less than a minute and circling all the underdogs. Using the same strategy the next go round, I finished a distant last.
Ob la di, ob la da.
So here, without further filler or ado, or any aforethought are a handful of picks in some of the lesser battles:
Gasparilla Bowl (Memphis State vs. North Carolina State). Given the title of this one, I’m inclined as somewhat of a movie buff, to wonder why the cowboys in old westerns always sidled up to the bar and ordered a shot of sarsaparilla? Which, as you certainly suspect hasn’t the slightest connection with Gasparilla. Which moniker emanates from Ye Mystic Krew of Gasparilla, the pirates who pillaged merchant vessels somewhere nearby back when pirates were a thing for Disney to make movies or an amusement park ride about. As for the game, would I ever pick Memphis State to win anything? Of course not. Besides NC State is a fellow member of the ACC. Wolfpack.
Famous Idaho Potato Bowl (Washington State vs. Utah State). Do fries come with that shake? Of course Maestro P Funkster George Clinton, they do. Some — without ketchup I believe — get tossed over the head of the winning coach of this battle on the blue turf. Which shall be Bronco Mendenhall of the Aggies, formerly of the BYU Cougars, formerly of the Virginia Cavaliers, now finding success in Logan of the Beehive State. Spuds and honey . . . hmmmmmm.
Frisco Bowl (UNLV vs Ohio University). Reading some actual sports news this morning, I learned that Ohio U’s coach was dismissed for serious violations of university policy or his contract or something. He was not arrested in the immediate aftermath, so he has that going for him, which is nice. And means, should the Bobcats have prevailed under his tutelage, he would have been doused with a bucket of cold brew java. Because the sponsor of this encounter in Frisco Texas not Frisco San is a coffee company. Actually it wouldn’t have happened anyway. Vegas is going to be victorious.
New Orleans Bowl (Western Ky vs. Southern Mississippi). I believe this one is played in the Dome. Meaning plenty of good seats still available. Lots of ’em. Even though Hattiesburg is but a short ride away, the place will be way empty. But hey it’s Crescent City. So, Hilltopper fans who will be going, Seedy K’s knowing dining tips. For old school New Orleans, Galatoire. For the absolutely best seafood you will ever eat, GW Fins. If it’s a po boy you crave, Domilise’s uptown on Annunciation. Thank me later. Toppers.
Bush’s Boca Raton Bowl of Beans (Louisville vs. Toledo). I would absolutely positively love to be serious about my Cardinals’ post season game. But once a legit outside threat to crash the CFP, they lost thrice in a row, and because of whatever peripheral reasons, have fallen to the bottom of the ACC’s food chain. Bowl wise. This game isn’t worth a hill of beans. Yuk yuk. Middle of the afternoon two days before Christmas. TVs will be dark all across the land. Except in Toledo perhaps and Derbytown in the dens of diehards, and the homes of betting junkies with nothing else to do. Cards will end their disappointing campaign on a winning note. Whoop de friggin’ doo.
— c d kaplan
Category: General Sports
